piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
