dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
