My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
