absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
