Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize