So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
