T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
