the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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