Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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