i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
