I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
