No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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