I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Text me some of your sweat
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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