Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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