Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Randomize
