so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize