I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
