So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
50% drunk capacity currently
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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