i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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