her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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