I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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