who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
