I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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