Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Randomize
