Where did you get a picture of my penis
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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