I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
