I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
