everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
