Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
