I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
PANTIES FOUND
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