David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
