I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
