So drunk its hurt
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
