Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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