my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
