theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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