Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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