whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
