im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
