The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
