I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
