found the other keg... it's in the tree
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
