if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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