Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
