I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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