"it" just moved
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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