so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
