everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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