I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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