Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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