Im at strip club and am horny
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Enjoy the penises
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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