peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
