Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
