..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
