I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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