Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
