I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If I die, sorry about rent.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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