Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
