She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
