I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
