i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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