I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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