I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
and you fell through a lawn chair
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
