I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
