Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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