Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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