I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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