FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
